This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Some people believe there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime.Others,however,argue that the circumstances of an individual crime,and the motivation for committing it ,should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.
discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
It is often thought that the punishment for any particular unlawful act should be the same for everyone regardless of any factors involved in the crime.Nevertheless,others argue that things ,such as the intention and circumstances ,cannot be ignored.The question,therefore,is whether these factors should be taken into consideration ,or courts should only take the crime into account when awarding punishments.
Clearly,the people who advocate fixed punishments are worried that the if the courts start to consider the motivation and circumstances behind the crime, then these susceptible and vulnerable factors could be taken advantage of by the shrewd lawyers of criminals.Consequently, the conviction rate will plummet and the number of murderers,rapists etc roaming the streets will increase.Thus,with the intention of locking up as many criminals as possible,fixed punishment should strictly awarded for the benefit of the society,according to these people.
However,these people forget the fact that several crimes occur solely due to either unforgiving circumstances or harmless intention.The environment could force a law-abiding individual to act out of his character and commit a crime or he may simply do so unintentionally.For example, a victim trying to save himself from an attacker kills him in the process.Obviously,he cannot be given the same punishment as someone who carried out a premeditated murder.Therefore.disregarding the the concerning circumstances and motivation behind the crime would result in unfair punishments being awarded to countless people.
To sum up,the society could benefit by awarding fixed punishments ,but is it worth sacrificing the lives of several people who ended up unintentionally committing an unlawful act or due to the circumstances involved.
(258Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
A quick response: TA – 7 (it’s a pity there is no example in para 3 to illustrate the point you are making)// CC – 7 (close to 6? There is a reliance on basic conjunctions in para 2)// LR – 8 (“awarding” is used incorrectly.”unforgiving circumstances??”)// G – 8 (one punctuation slip? 9?)// = 7.5. (8.0??).
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