This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What other measures do you think might be effective?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
It is argued that a rise in the price of fuel can resolve the problem of the increasing volume of traffic and pollution issues. This essay disagrees with this statement and will provide reasons to prove this along with outlining some ways, which could help to combat the very issue.
Automobiles have already become an integral part of our lives. However, there are some serious problems, which these vehicles have been posing for us and our ecology (namely pollution and traffic congestion). And inflated price of petrol would not cope with these phenomena in the long term, since people taking up higher positions in a social escalator will not stop using cars just because of higher excises duties on gas and will anyway continue employing automobiles for personal use. Therefore, rising taxes on petrol would not discourage automobile users and issues in question would remain unsolved.
There are many ways of tackling pollution and traffic problems. One way of addressing these issues could be promoting environmentally friendly types of public transportation (such as trains, trolleys and underground railway). For instance, Seoul (South Korea) had been suffering from ‘bumper-to-bumper’ traffic on roads, before the government invested a large sum of money in improving public transportation system (2006). As a result, carbon emissions of this country have been reduced significantly (by roughly 10 metric tons). Besides, there has been a marked decrease in rates of car ownership in this country. Thus, encouraging usage of public transport can yield much better results.
To conclude, high tax on petrol does not seem to work due primarily to people from higher-income class, for whom money is not an issue. And in my view, promoting eco-friendly public transport could bear fruit in solving horrendous traffic congestion and pollution problems.
(291Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
TA – is the opening sentence of para 2 vital to the answer? It would help if you were specific about the context you were writing about because some of your comments are not wholly relevant to where I am. What about hybrid cars? Remember the importance of “reasons”. Perhaps you included to many examples in para 3?// LR – ” And inflated price of petrol would not cope with these phenomena in the long term, since people taking up higher positions in a social escalator will not stop using cars just because of higher excises duties on gas and will anyway continue employing automobiles for personal use.” Why begin a sentence with “And”? (I’ve copied this sentence for you to consider as it is also why I’m limiting LR). It’s a good piece of writing and I want to reward that but I can’t see much/any cohesion. Can you? LR – really good – but what don’t I like about the sentence I have cut & paste?// G – articles! Why “does not seem to work” in the conclusion? I’d go for a modal/conditional
So, I’d say:
//TA – 7 (a bit strict?)
// CC – 6 (it has to be with two “and”s)
// LR – 8
// G – 7 (too many article errors to be a slip)
//Overall = 7.0.
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
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- IELTS Essay Evaluation Online Free
- IELTS Writing Task 2 Recent Questions
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- Overall Band Score Calculator
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