IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer #74

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This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people believe there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime and the motivation for committing it should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.

Write a minimum of 250 words.

Sample Band 7 Answer

It is believed by some that perpetrating criminal activity should be punished with a standardized punishment regardless of the type of a crime, while others are of opinion that it is important to consider conditions and reasons of a defendant to commit that certain offence. In this essay, both opposing views will be analyzed before providing my own opinion.

From one viewpoint, were the same punishments for any law-breakers in a crime-related legislation, there would be a significant decline in crime rates. To put it another way, if any type of offence, even shoplifting was punished with sentencing to a long-term imprisonment, people would ultimately be afraid of committing even minor crimes not to mention serious violent offences, since nobody wants to waste his life away behind bars just for one wrong little action. In the long term, this change could work out to establish the peace in this world. Therefore, it might be said that the world could benefit from this fixed-punishment policy.

From another angle, it is believed that jury should thoroughly investigate the crime and learn every detail of it before reaching their verdicts. This is because there are different situations in life, for example one can commit murder defending herself from a rapist, apparently in this case, punishments for this ‘criminal’ should be softened, as otherwise she herself could have been violated (or could have even died). Thus, an army of people thinks punishing any crime with the same punishments is a nonsense and for the sake of justice, extenuating circumstances of offenders should be taken into consideration.

In summary, both sides of the argument regarding punishing the criminals have strong support. However, after a careful analysis it is clear that the conditions of any crime should be considered in the first place before reaching a verdict, since sometimes the circumstances force even innocent people to commit a crime. Thus, for the sake of such ‘criminals’ and ‘fairness’ court should carry out a detailed investigation before punishing the individuals.

(330Words)

This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.

Examiner Feedback

A clumsy introduction. Far from “native speaker” in style. But it is typical of the essay as whole. “were the same punishments for any law-breakers in a crime-related legislation” – missing word & an unnecessary article. “one wrong little action” – not natural. “this change could work out to establish …” – where did you learn this? Punctuation is faulty.
I’d say:
// TA – 7 (could be more ‘specific’)
// CC – 7 (there is a sense of development)
// LR – 8 (it’s too ‘convoluted’ to be 9)
// G – 7 (close to 8 but articles & too many minor errors limit the band)
//Overall = 7.0.

Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.

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