This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Many high school students take part time jobs.what are the advantages and disadvantages of this .
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
It is a common practice nowadays for high school students to get a part time job,either for financial reasons or to acquire professional life skills.This ever increasing trend has,undoubtedly,many benefits;however,this may bring some negative ramifications with it.This essay will look at the positive and negative sides of such a practice .
To begin ,high school students can benefit from a part time employment in so many ways.Firstly , it helps them all,especially the poor ones,to become financially independent ,meaning that they no longer need to rely on their parents or family for day_to_day needs.Also,being independent develops a sense of responsibility which may be proven extremely helpful in later life.In addition to this ,having a part time job would mean following a daily hectic routine and managing the stress of a job,which makes them strong enough to face the challenges of practical life.
However,it is not wrong to say that such a practice has devastating consequences on academic progress of high school children.It is obvious that students have to dedicate a great deal of time to their work,leaving them with barely any time to concentrate on their studies.As a result,their performance at school suffers badly.A study in China proves this by unveiling their results; a staggering number of students with poor academic results were those with part time job.Hence, it is clear that such a trend can affect students in a negative way.
To conclude, doing a part time employment has many benefits like financial stability and development of mental strength for the future.However, the major drawback( poor academic performance) is not to be ignored.
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
A brief response. The conclusion is ‘weak’. Specific examples would help. In CC you use a lot of basic conjunctions but there is a sense of development in your argument. For LR “doing a part time employment ” is ‘wrong’. Is there a wide enough range of sentence patterns even though the writing is virtually error-free?
So, I’d say: TA – 7
// CC – 7 (‘just’)
// LR – 8
// G – 8 (9?)
//Overall = 7.5 (8.0??).
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