This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 6 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing.
Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages ?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 6 Answer
For centuries, humankind has been searching ways to live longer and thanks to advancement in medical field, mortality rate has plunged down and people are experiencing better longevity. This improvement has brought a lot of advantages with few disadvantages which will be discussed in below paragraphs followed by a conclusion.
On the one side, progression in medical field have improved life expectancy, but that at the cost of quality of life. This is because, people are living up to 100 years , but with the help of medical equipment’s or expensive medicines which put alot of pressure on family members. Also, government have to keep more budget for senior citizens in the form of old- age homes, pensions which can be used on other critical issues like employment generation . For instance, the government of India has allocated around 22% of budget for senior citizens for 2017, as the percentage of senior citizens have shot up.
However, not all old people feel ill, and they can enjoy a healthy lifestyle if they keep themselves fit. People are much fitter now as compared to their ancestors and they explore many new places which they could not do in young age, due to a lot of commitments. Also, if they save a lot of money for their retirement life, they cannot be a burden on their family or government. Also they can help to babysit their grandchild which is an added advantage to working parents.
To conclude, I believe that proper planning at young age like keeping enough money for later life and maintaining a healthy lifestyle helps to enjoy better life and they don’t have to rely on their offerings nor on the government, as they are independent and free from diseases and ready to enjoy later life.
(296Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 6 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
TA – “few disadvantages” is different in meaning to “a few disadvantages”, Which do you mean? How does the conclusion relate to the question? You seem the be writing a problem solving essay at the end// CC – you mainly write a series of points so there isn’t a sense of development// LR – appropriate vocabulary & adequate vocabulary// G – again, article errors restrict the band and there are s few basic slips ( government have to keep more budget for senior citizens/etc)
So, I’d say:
//TA – 6 (where do you specifically answer the question?)
//CC – 6
// LR – 7 (close to 8)
// G – 7
//Overall = 6.5 (7.0 if you are lucky).
Well, this are the essay sample for band 6. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
- What is IELTS?
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- IELTS Essay Evaluation Online Free
- IELTS Writing Task 2 Recent Questions
- IELTS Mock Test British Council
- Overall Band Score Calculator
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