IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer #9

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This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 6 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

These days, many jobs require people to travel and this is disrupting many families. What effects do traveling parents have on their children?

Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.

Write a minimum of 250 words.

Sample Band 6 Answer

Nowadays, as world is changing exponentially, it has become important for many nuclear families to work as a site employee. As a result, their offspring are facing problems by their traveling.

As a part of this urbanized society children are experiencing both positive and negative effects. A possible positive impact is that their parents are doing such jobs only for their childs sake. For instance, they are away from their part of heart(children) in order to earn more which in result make them able to educate accordingly, and could be brought in proper dress.

The positive side of being away from them generally can not be ignored. However, it has negative impacts as well. Firstly, absence of their mums and dads may tend them to do activities which are generally considered to be un-ethical in our society such as drinking alcohol, gambling, and remaining outside from home most of the time. Secondly, parent-child relationship is very sensitive and no doubt plays an important role in their academics. For example, study revealed that adolescents living with their families are more likely to enrol in universities. Since, those who could not get admission in third-level institutions are seem to be totally disrespectful to their parents.

Lastly, although most of the time their parents are not in touch with with them may give them authority to think and do what they actually want. No any proper guidance could take them towards wrong path. In fact, they mingle with their friends and try to adopt their ideologies instead of their father or mother which in general will not be helpful in times of hardship.

On balance, being away from children has overall negative effects. Hence, parents guideline is only light which make their offspring to be a successful person.

(291Words)

This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 6 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.

Examiner Feedback

ÿMy usual question(s) – what is the purpose of the introduction? How does it help the reader? This is an interesting essay. I suspect you are following a framework that you have learnt. I say this because there are a number of sentences that structure the essay that are excellent but most of the main body sentences are much weaker in terms of LR & G. If you have done this, is could be dangerous as examiners are permitted to ignore parts of an essay that they think are memorised and base their band score on the rest (but this does not affect word count). For TA I feel the response to the question (which I feel is more suited to GT than Ac module) is too general. You do not give a context. And why do you assume both parents leave their children? That is the impression the essay gives// CC – you should be able to explain the band I give yourself// LR – which in result make them able to educate accordingly, and could be brought in proper dress – where did you get this vocabulary from? But, overall, there is sufficient collocation throughout// G – may tend them to do Ive read this phrase before very recently. The verb pattern is wrong. Was it in another of your essays? This is borderline 6/7 but Im inclined to disregard the better sentences (see my comments above)// So, Id say: TA – 6// CC – 6// LR – 7// G – 6 (could be 7)// = 6.0 (or 6,5).

Well, this are the essay sample for band 6. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.

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