This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 6 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 6 Answer
Since globalization, poverty has become an alarming issue, and for this reason, people have a wide spectrum of opinions about how to combat this problem. Among those, the most proposed idea is to hire proficient professionals from the under-privileged country by the wealthy nations. I strongly agree with this notion because of its various advantages which can greatly impact on both countries functional identity to the world.
Ideally, unemployment is the prime contributor to the poverty of a country.By enhancing job prospects for the skilled labor force from the under-developed country, the affluent countries can facilitate those states way to build up a strong economy, which in turn, will help them to grapple with poverty.This can only be attained by that workforce who repatriate the portion of their remuneration to the homeland, which consequently, incorporates in the persistent long-term development of those poor nations.By investing these additional revenues, what comes from that remittance, in other sectors like health care and education, it becomes easier for that impoverished governing body to ensure basic needs of its inhabitants. .For example, a recent survey has been conducted by the UK government revealed that the immigrants who are working in health sector send 12 percent of their money to the country they belong to.As a result, it helps these countries to enrich the economy as well as assisting them to stand out on the global stage.Therefore, it is evident why that proposal is imperative to perform.
Another point I would consider that recruiting competent employees from those poverty-stricken countries is not only helpful for that poor governments but also for the well-off states.This is because when the country employs professionals who are already competent enough for that respective position, it will help them to save resources and time as they do not have to plow billions in order to prepare their natives to work in these sectors.For instance, many solvent realms like the US have their fabric industries in Asian countries, in this case, if they had to allocate money to educate and train its citizens to work in those companies, it would time-consuming let alone the cost-effectiveness, which in turn, could attribute to degrade their economic persistence,not to mention global recognition as developed nation. Not only will it be uncertain to frame a possible time limit to achieve that proficiency but it also will undermine financial growth during that training period. Thereby, it also will not be wise to undertake these type of ignorant action which is detrimental to the host countries because of its implications.
To conclude, it would be momentous to contemplate on providing employment readiness for the insolvent states.By doing so, the first world countries can pave the way for the establishment of the comprehensive economy of these countries that can barely manage the dreadful deprivation of basic needs, and rich countries can also secure its own financial stability by saving time and money.
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 6 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
I don’t understand “greatly impact on both countries functional identity to the world.” Is there a punctuation error? TA – I can ‘cope with’ para 2 but I can’t get to grips with para 3 (” many solvent realms like the US have their fabric industries in Asian countries,” – how is this relevant? And the same sentence reduces you LR band. Why do you focus on clothing companies?). You have written an economics essay not an IELTS T2// CC – you use cohesion, A lot of cohesion, But you have written so much, the text has become “dense”. Who do you think the reader is?// LR – the more you write the more errors you will make. With thought, CC could be 9// G – “For instance, many solvent realms like the US have their fabric industries in Asian countries, in this case, if they had to allocate money to educate and train its citizens to work in those companies, it would time-consuming let alone the cost-effectiveness, which in turn, could attribute to degrade their economic persistence,not to mention global recognition as developed nation. ” = 5 errors. You have overreached yourself
So, I’d say:
//TA – 6
// CC – 6
// LR – 7 (8 is possible but I feel it’s too experimental)
//G – 7
//Overall = 6.5.
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