This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
Initial years of life for any individual are among the most essential years in a persons life, as they learn the basic difference between what is right and what is wrong. This is taught by giving them appropriate punishment, when they are unjust. In my opinion, I agree with the aforementioned statement and this essay will discuss importance of the punishment and acceptable forms of discipline techniques that should be carried out by parents and teachers.
To begin with, punishments are an imperative tool by which children are trained to distinguish between just and unjust acts. Parents motivate a child when he is doing something right by giving him praise and positive reinforcement. On the contrary, they punish him when his behaviour is unacceptable. This instils a sense of right and wrong in a learning child, thus helping him become a functioning and moral individuals of society. For instance, my nephew used to beat his classmates but after his mother had scolded him and banned his favourite video game , over time he understood his wrong doing and rectified his mistake. It can be seen that punishment is an important tool for moulding children into righteous human beings.
Only the non physical type of punishments should be carried out by teachers and parents to discipline children. Parent should use verbal retribution and take away children’s luxury privileges like mobile phone, video games and laptops in case they are not acting morally. This sort of discipline will make them realise their short-comings and help them be more disciplined. Additionally, teachers can punish undisciplined students by giving them extra homework and asking to make a public apology in front of the class, thus making them aware of consequences of breaking school rules. Extreme physical form of punishment should be totally banned as it leaves a negative psychological impact on child and can cause problems like depression.
To conclude, children learn to differentiate between right and wrong with help of punishment but not all forms of discipline should be practiced as some can have harmful effect on children psyche.
(343Words)
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
Examiner Feedback
TA – you argue your case well but the issue could be developed more// CC – a good balance of cohesion & conjunctions// LR – “practiSed”. “an imperative tool”? ” righteous human beings.”? There is plenty of strong collocation but the style isn’t natural enough for a really high band// G – there are too many article errors and slips with plurals for 8. There are also a couple of missing apostrophes .
So I’d say:
//TA – 7
// CC – 8 (9?)
// LR – 7
// G – 7
//Overall = 7.0.
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
- What is IELTS?
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- IELTS Essay Evaluation Online Free
- IELTS Writing Task 2 Recent Questions
- IELTS Mock Test British Council
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