This page consists the IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Band 7 with Examiner feedback which will help you understanding the tactic to solve the IELTS Writing Task 2 Questions.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?
Include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to back up your answer.
Write a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Band 7 Answer
It is believed that punishment is vital in helping a child make distinction between right and wrong. I strongly agree with the notion for the reasons elucidated in this essay and also discuss various modes of punishment that can be used to instill positive behavioral traits in children.
Punishment instills a certain amount of fear in children. It brings realization that all their actions have consequences whether good or bad, therefore, making them think twice before doing anything.Also ,punishing young ones serves as an effective negative feedback strategy by preventing the children to commit the same mistake twice.A case in point is Canada,where schools utilize verbal reprimand as a tool to teach children how to rectify their mistakes. Another example is a case study conducted across various schools in Europe where teachers employ the methodology of public apology. When a student behaves badly or does something immoral, he is punished by making him state his mistakes in front of the class and apologize to the concerned person. This has proven as an effective tool in helping the children distinguish right from wrong.
However, it is important to take into account the kind of punishment parents or teachers might use to inculcate good moral and social values in children. At such tender age, no form of physical punishment should be employed whatsoever which may lead to psychological scarring. Verbal retribution should be enough to teach them good behavior and avoid hurting other people. Furthermore, educating the child about the significance of apology and imposition of monetary fine are also successful ways to guide them in making the right decisions. For instance in Japan, both the teachers and parents allow young ones to rectify their mistakes and learn from them by strictly placed rules for this purpose. Students have to pay a certain amount of fine and make direct apology to the person concerned and vow never to repeat the same attitude.
In conclusion, it is vital that children learn good moral and social values and the ability to differentiate between right and wrong to become responsible citizens of the society. Using mild,non physical form of punishment to incorporate good behavioral traits is beneficial in this regard and has long term positive effect on a child’s’ mind.
This is the answer is written by the real student who appeared on IELTS exam and got band 7 for this answer. now, let’s us look forward to the essay feedback given by the IELTS Examiner.
TA – poor examples which most adults realise could be harmful forms of punishment . I feel in this type of question requires the age group of the children to be specified to help the reader. I totally agree with Parul// CC – there is flow to the writing even though the argument isn’t particularly convincing. Having one example as a a paragraph isn’t going to achieve 8+// LR = ” vow never to repeat the same attitude. “? Plus, the spelling error can’t be ignored.// G – there are too many article errors and errors with plurals to award 8. ” vow never to repeat the same attitude. “?
So, I’d say:
//TA – 6
// CC – 7
// LR – 8
// G – 7
//Overall = 7.0.
Well, this are the essay sample for band 7. Mero IELTS consists other information too regarding IELTS Writing Task 1, IELTS Listening, IELTS Reading, IELTS Speaking. Below are the some links to the page which might be useful to a student.
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- IELTS Essay Evaluation Online Free
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